


Weren’t we destiny partners?

by Darkspirit



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt, Internal Conflict, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19396879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkspirit/pseuds/Darkspirit
Summary: Steven’s head is a mess as he tries to deal with Pink’s shards’ revelation and, more importantly, the tension between him and Connie.This happens while Steven, Connie, and the CGs are in Jasper's room, in Connie Epilogue of The Return episode.





	Weren’t we destiny partners?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [br42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/gifts), [MjStudioArts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MjStudioArts/gifts), [BurdenKing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurdenKing/gifts).



_NO! In a real battle, Steven won't be there to save you._

_Yes, I will!_

_Steven, you don't know that!_

_Yes, I do! If Connie is going to fight, we're going to fight together!_

_That's right!_

\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

_This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If there was something for Steven that was 100% an honor and very funny to do, that was being Connie's destiny partner. Sure, the gem monsters and shocking revelations and many theories of conspiracies that floated in his head were pills hard to swallow. Or a matter to leave for the next time when they - ** _he_** _, because it seemed now that not even his training was good enough_ \- were prepared to tackle that. And yeah, at first it was scary facing so many dangers that only heroes like the ones of Dragon Ball Z or any TV show he has seen could defeat in a snap, but as long as he was there for Connie and she was there for him, as long as they were there for each other, then they would be ok.

And it has been like that no matter the disagreements, the fights or even the initial opposition Connie's gem family had against Asmi and fusion. They were there for each other. Connie and Steven, destiny partners against the world.

Until Homeworld decided to pay Earth a visit and then, what they might have done for each other, or more exactly, what Steven might have done to protect Connie or the Crystal Gems stopped being sufficient.

He shook a bit his head to not delve into that smelly can of worms and kept looking at the one Jasper had been hiding all this time in her room. Not the burning one as her girlfriend - _should he call her that after what she made him feel? Nono! Stop thinking about that!_ \- assumed it was for obvious reasons. It was grossly and literally accurate what miss Lapis had told him when she was worried his relationship with Connie was going to be ruined by fusion, that Jasper, miss Peridot and her had skeletons in their closets as a way to say a LOT of emotional stuff they didn't want anything to do with, because Jasper kept in secret for them, for Connie even, what was left of a gem's body.

Wait, was that right? Miss Peridot mentioned once that gems' bodies were made of light, not bones or flesh or whatever and the only thing that projected their bodies was their gemstones, so it should be what was left of a gem's heart or organ that kept them alive.

Anyway, it was a HUGE revelation. Bigger and crazier and worrier than everything he had imagined in his head, every theory of betrayal and conspiracy small compared to this piece of info. Heck, it was Connie's mom idea to not say anything unless the moment to try to talk things out with Homeworld came.

_'I want things to get better in the long term and I think this is our chance to do that. Together'_ that was what Connie said after she found her mom's diary full of regret and sadness and stressful things of the war. That by talking things out and trusting each other things would be better long term. Because that was what a team does, everyone protects each other and trusts each other strengths.

**'But it seems she didn't follow her own rule, right Steven? She just told you to not interfere because it was dangerous. Kind of hypocritical if you ask me'** a nasty, bitter voice that suspiciously sounded like Lars made itself present.

No, no! Connie wasn't acting like that! Connie wasn't anything but that! She was just trying to protect him! The homeworld ship, the gem gems, Beach City evacuation, those were the red flags, obviously, someone needed to be with the others to help to evacuate everyone safely.

**'Then why didn't she just tell you that? Or what? Are you now making up excuses for her?'** the same petty voice asked and he found himself speechless, mind-ly speechless.

That... That was a good point even if Steven didn't want to argue with that voice. If Connie didn't want him in the real battle why not saying 'Hey, at least do something productive by helping the townsfolk evacuate while I'm calling the big shots' though that sounded bossier and ruder than what Connie would have told him if she had done it. Besides, it wasn't calling the shots, he could feel it despite talking through phone messages. She was scared, nervous and going to face an enemy her mom fought in a horrible war that even left marks in Jasper and miss Lapis.

_* CoMa - 05:48pm | You're not going with your parents??_

_* StUn - 05:49pm | What! Of course not Im gonna help u!_

_* CoMa - 05:49pm | ..._

_* StUn - 05:49pm | No. No dots_

_* CoMa - 05:50pm | Yes dots.._ _I think you should go with your parents._

_* StUn - 05:50pm | I have 2 be there! We r partners!_

_* CoMa - 05:51pm | This is different. These aren't corrupted gems, Steven._

_* CoMa - 05:51pm | They're gem gems! Like Peridot and Jasper._

_* CoMa - 05:52pm | They might not want to kill us in the fight because we're gems._

_* CoMa - 05:53pm | They might want to capture us if we lose. But they don't care about humans, Steven._

_* CoMa - 05:53pm | Your not a person to them, just an animal or an infestation._

_* CoMa - 05:54pm | They'll kill you._

_* CoMa - 05:54pm | I can't let that happen. Please go. I love you. Please go._

She was scared of losing him, that was pretty obvious, so there's nothing to reproach or demand to her.

However, while some reasonable parts of his mind agreed with this conclusion and tried to move on, the rest were restless and angry. Angry, outraged, betrayed, lost, confused, hurt and many other bad feelings that didn't need the influence of the Nightmare Monster to raise their protests.

It wasn't fair! All the training, all the 'being destiny partners against the odds', heck even Asmi being awesome and congratulated by Jasper who wasn't happy at first at seeing them fuse and this is what he got?! Then what? If there was another invasion by Homeworld or another alien planet was he going to hide in a hole or just be the 'evacuation guy' because that would make Connie happy?

His compassionate side argued that there would be a very, VERY little chance for him to survive if he hadn't listened to Connie's requests and had helped her and the team. Imagining scary things with all these adventures and gem monsters around was one thing, but it was another really different to imagine oneself dead, surrounded by your shocked and devastated loved ones, especially your girlfriend who obviously would blame herself for the tragedy for the rest of her life.

That kind of future was out of the list of things Steven wanted to experience and he was very determined to keep it that way. But...

What about Connie?

_* CoMa - 05:52pm | They might not want to kill us in the fight because we're gems._

_* CoMa - 05:53pm | They might want to capture us if we lose. But they don't care about humans, Steven._

But she was a human too! Half-human, but human still!! And she didn't know if those gems were going to just capture her as they did with Jasper, Bismuth, miss Peridot and miss Lapis!! What if they had decided to use her as a lab rat? What if they had tried to take her gemstone out of her chest? Then she would be the dead one and he had been the mourning one for the rest of his life. Although he wondered if Rose Quartz and her minions were that interested in using with half-gem, half-human people like they were test subjects. But wait, Rose, Connie had said it, was unpredictable by calling her Citrine and then talking about having a baby like Connie's mom did.

_'Being unpredictable doesn't change the fact that Connie had died!'_ an angry voice yelled in his head. He hated to admit it but it was true, she could've died and he wasn't there for her.

_It was too dangerous_ , reason tried to get through his head.

_She might've been horrified if you had been hurt protecting her_ , compassion told him.

_Asmi may have helped against them_ , indignation roared. _If we had fused, if she had trusted me a bit more to fight together then things would have been easier! We were supposed to be partners! Destiny partners! What happened to that?!_

**'Easy, dude, you were sidelined. Why? Because you're too weak'** that Lars-like voice mocked.

He shook his head again, but mentally to not arouse suspicions to anyone, especially Connie.

That wasn’t true either. She told him she wasn't friends with him at the start because he was powerful or super-fast or invulnerable or other hero stuff. They complement each other, he always gave her advice and listened to her and she lifted him when he was down.

Maybe... Maybe he was being a bit selfish. Yeah! Like, you can't expect to be needed in a super dangerous mission and return unharmed when your girlfriend had warned you of what might happen. Also, Connie was smart and knew what she was doing by telling him to not intervene, and he didn't want to hurt her by being crushed by gem gems who didn't care about humans nor Earth stuff at all.

Yep, that was it. Problem solved.

**'Not at all, buddy'** the Lars-like voice said **'What do you think will happen if another alien causes trouble? Are you going to let your girlfriend put you inside of a safe box and share a victory she pretends is of you both in the end when she doesn't even let you fight alongside her?'** Steven winced.

That also was a good, though pretty pissed off, point. Connie just smooched him and asked him to fuse, not even caring of how he felt when she told him to not help. It was like what she did never happened at all! Like his feelings weren't that much of a deal as long as he was alive!! What the heck, that's not how destiny partners should act! Didn't she get the memo?!

Again, Steven's good feelings -which weren't that strong at that moment- tried to calm down the anger and hurt due to Connie's actions. He wasn't being fair; she was just scared and he would have done the same if their places had been reversed.

…

…

…

But that would have hurt her too.

Telling her 'Hey, we're partners but I don't want to see you die, so don't help' it would've been like zeroing all her training, all their hard work to protect each other, even whatever promises they might've made to each other, just because one thought that was the best or right thing to do.

And that's the same she did. Zeroing him. Zeroing his training, THEIR training, his trust, THEIR trust in each other, ASMI EVEN!!!

And she still had the nerve to smooch him like nothing was wrong?!!

No no, Steven. Calm down. You have too much righteous anger.

_Wow, so that's how Connie felt when Asmi couldn't summon their sword. When the Crystal Gems didn't listen to her and attacked Amethyst and Pearl. It is...heavy. Heavy and bitter_

He didn't like it. He preferred to be happy and relaxed than bitter and heavy, but if he tried to do that it would be like pretending that what he was actually feeling wasn't that much of a deal. But it was. He and Connie trained so much, they even got the Crystal Gems' approval to be Asmi and now it was like nothing of that was enough. Like Connie would rather have him in another part, very far away of the real battle than helping her, than working as a team whether it was as Asmi or both of them. Because what was the point in training and facing monsters and dangers and becoming better in fusion if she only sent him away instead of trusting on each other? Or was she waiting for the opportunity to tell him it would be better if he only were the 'evacuation guy' while she faced another invasion?

Connie couldn't just think he wasn't prepared enough, or strong enough, or brave enough to help her when gem gems wanted to hurt people. Right?

_* StUn - 05:50pm | I have 2 be there! We r partners!_

_* CoMa - 05:51pm | This is different. These aren't corrupted gems, Steven._

No! It wasn't!! Sure, gem gems and monster gems were different because the first ones were people-smart and the second ones were animal-smart, but both hurt others and were dangerous and angry and very strong and needed to be stopped. Though Amethyst, Pearl, and Garnet were few exceptions in the first category. Also, had Connie forgot they had fought and defeated a HUGE monster gem that had an army of little monster gems back then in that desert? And it was dangerous and scary and really difficult, but Connie didn't tell him 'Don't help. I don't want you dead'. They worked together, they, Asmi, fought it and won! Why couldn't they use that victory in their favor and face together the homeworld bad guys?

Did she really think trusting each other wasn't enough against them? That he couldn't catch up with her in battle?

The more questions he asked himself the more upset and hurt he got, though Steven covered those emotions well to prevent a future conversation with Connie. He wasn't in the mood for...for...

For what exactly? Excuses, apologies, explanations about how dangerous gem gems were?

Steven wasn't sure anymore. And at this point, trusting Connie for her to change her mind if the planet was invaded again didn't seem possible either.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Umm... a-are you happy to see me, too?_

_Of course I'm happy to see you, Steven._

_Uh, but?_

_But how could you just give yourself up like that?_

_Well, first, I said I was my dad, and then I said I was my mom._

_No. I mean, you just gave up._

_I had to. They were gonna take all those people. They were gonna take you!_

_But what about our training? Stevonnie. Jam buds. I believed in us. We could have done it together._

_This is different. This whole thing was my fault, but I knew that I could fix it all if I turned myself in. And look -- No one got hurt. Well, except for Lars, but I saved him, too._

_But... I'm hurt._

_No, you're not. You're safe. You're here. I'm here. We're safe. Everything's fine._

_It's not, though._

_You know, it was a tough decision for me to make, but it had to be done._

_You don't get it._

_Get what?_

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Please don't shut that button. I know things are nuts but you have to trust me._

_And I should trust you why?! After stealing radioactive waste? After lying to us all summer?! I don't even know who you are!_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it, guys.


End file.
